*Inspired by TRUE EVENTS*

Last night I had the privilage of attending a very exclusive black tie "members only" party. Between stuffing foie gras in a ziploc to save for later and stashing some cristal in a 7-11 super gulp cup (32oz), there were a lot of wonderous sights and sounds to take in.

He arrived in a big red hot air balloon, with beams of light and fire shooting through the sky. The Count of Monte Cisco made his way through the distinguished guests, coming to a stop in front of me. With a grin on his face and a heavy french accent he politely queried, "Ho, ho, ho, bonsoir Q-tip, (my hair didn't have gel in it, and it was rather poofy) Zee `Ale`a webzite hazn't been upzated for about zee month now. It is le tired. When zee heck are you gonna upzate zat shiet?"

To which I replied...

"On the morrow, I shall write a spectacular news item especially for you...."

I bowed gracefully.

We toasted the heavens with our 7-11 cups, drank, feasted, and had a merry old time.

As promised, here is the most spectacular post loosely based on a true story ever to be posted on aleaonline.com.