Trying something new... two posts in one. A sign of laziness or creativity? A little bit of both I suppose. Without further ado....

"Bah, Humbug"
by Ryan Gonzalez
Period 3

Ah yes, this is the life....The flickering fluorescent light fixture. The furry grey walls. The $2.99 floral print coffee mug converted into a multipurpose pen and pencil toolkit.

Ahhhhhh... back to the little piece of corporate real estate that is my cubicle at my "real job" out in the "real world".

Well, it's January 3rd, 2006. Another year has come and gone, and I'm not getting any younger. This past holiday season felt like life's universal remote had the fast forward button jammed down and I ended up watching everything go by like a DVD in 10x speed - I barely got to take in all the sights and sounds. I swear, the older you get, the faster time whizzes on by.

It's kind of depressing to think that I won't be hearing those 132 different versions of "Jingle Bells" on the radio again for another 11 months (and the ONE version of "O Holy Night" that makes me fall on my knees and weep like a little baby everytime - Thank you Willie K).

Yay.

"Teh Gonz's Top 10 List of Questions for 2006"
by Ryan Gonzalez
Period 4

Everyone and their grandmother has some kind of "Top 10 List of (insert year here)" going on. After getting some educated input from a panel of experts (my magic 8-ball, the paper fortune teller I made at work, and my amazing pet parrot named "Buddy") on what to expect for the upcoming year, here's what I came up with:

!!!TEH GONZ'S TOP 10 QUESTIONS OF 2006!!!

1. Will any NEW music that isn't Jawaiian or Reggae be played on local radio stations?
Magic 8-ball: "Outlook not good."
Paper Fortune Teller of DOOM: "You're an idiot."
Buddy the Bird Wonder: "Merp......"

2. Will there be an increase in Slack Key Albums released in 2006?
Magic 8-ball: "It is decidedly So."
Paper Fortune Teller of DOOM: "Does a bear sh*t in the woods?"
Buddy the Bird Wonder: "..."

3. Will `Ale`a hit the studio again in the spring of '06?
Magic 8-ball: "Ask again later."
Paper Fortune Teller of DOOM: "Nobody likes you."
Buddy the Bird Wonder: "merp...merp.."
Magic 8-ball: "Ask again later...."
Magic 8-ball: "No."

4. Will `Ale`a record in the summer of '06?
Magic 8-ball: "Don't count on it."
Paper Fortune Teller of DOOM: "You stink."
Buddy THE WONDER BIRD: (gently rocks back and forth on his perch as he falls asleep)

5. Will Gonzo stop wearing that dumb hat of his?
Magic 8-Ball: "Maybe"
Paper Fortune Teller of DOOM: "He's an idiot. You're an idiot. Everyone's an idiot."
Buddy The Wonder Bird???: "zzzzzz"

6. Will this dumb list actually have 10 questions?
Magic 8-ball: "No."
Paper Fortune Teller of DOOM: "You're ugly."
Buddy, the bird of wonder... : (wakes up, takes two steps over to his food tray and starts to eat his apple slices)

7. Well, since this list isn't going to have 10 items, is this the last question?
Magic 8-ball: "Yes."
Paper Fortune Teller of DOOM: "You suck."
Buddy: (with apple chunks still stuck on his beak, he nods off and starts to snore)